Cats meowing at night, Rousing sleepers from their dreams, My dish is empty. Thoughts: I got a new book to read to my son: Ready Player One. He loves the movie and I've told him on a couple of occasions that the book was better. So, he asked if we could read it together and, as soon as his mom finishes the current Percy Jackson book(s), I'll jump into RPO with him.  I'm really looking forward to this. I want him (and all my kids) to be a reader. So far, I'm 1 for 2 (my eldest reads somewhat; my second does read, but very little). I hope this stirs his interest enough for him to begin reading on his own, outside of bedtime rituals. He's not yet old enough to tackle the philosophical books I've been studying with my two eldest, but we do still discuss philosophy. Every chance I get, we'll talk about the ramifications of this or the assumptions behind that . We talk about rights and knowledge, truth and logic, ethics and aesthetics. We talk on a walk. We tal...

Time flies while we wait A ticking in the background. Get busy and love. Thoughts: “I hold my children, and I hold my wife, and I know that they will die. And I know that it could happen before I die. So I know that our time together is finite. It will end. And so I appreciate them so much more. I marvel at the fact that these particular collections of cells coalesced around these souls for a temporary period, and I’m so lucky to get to be here at the same time as the little collection of cells and bones and nostril hairs. And so I really make the most of it in a way I didn’t before. And I wish that that skill didn’t come from something so painful. But it did. That was the price tag for me to receive that gift. And now I have it, and I appreciate it." ~ Rob Delaney  (after the death of his son) Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Meditation III: Today's Music: String Quartet no. 2 in D major, 3: Noctur...

Early morning dark Still shrouds with deepest hollows. Philosophy before dawn. Thoughts: I like mornings when I wake up early and have some quiet time to myself.  Introspection comes easier before sunrise.  Today I'm meditating on quietude. On speaking only when what I have to say is true, necessary, and kind. Only when it will be better than silence. I'm not usually a huge talker. I'm not the most laconic guy, but generally, I speak less than whomever I'm with.  Mostly due introversion than wisdom, but hey . . .  It's something . I do, though, do my best to follow the old maxim: never miss a good chance to shut up. Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Music: Vladimir's Blues  (@9:17) by Max Richter

Always be learning. Always be here, now, present. Always show kindness. Thoughts: Fading away, prayer, and compassion: a powerful trio of meditations today.  Eventually, I will be forgotten, perhaps a name in an ancestry tree and no more. Perhaps not even that. There will be none who know of anything I did. Ever. I will be so utterly eroded by time that not even "two vast and trunkless legs of stone" will remain buried in the desert somewhere awaiting discovery to boast of my accomplishments. Rather than despair, this thought brings me focus. If all I do will be lost to conscious minds, then I have two goals now: embrace the freedom to live my life as I wish, forgoing attempts to build a legacy and focusing on what difference I can make in the here and now; and perhaps influencing the future through making a difference for my family, friends, and all those I meet. Though my name will disappear into the mists of time, perhaps the world might still be a little better through t...

Truth rides on the wing, Flash! Swinging right, left, back. Find the right way to say what you must.  Thoughts: I try to be truthful. This means I'm not. It falls in line with Yoda's proscription, "Do or do not. There is no try."  Is truth a threshold event or a continuum on which we slide back and forth, sometimes more successful, sometimes less?  I can see both possibilities. In most things, I'm a sliding scale sort of guy. Evil and good? Nice or mean? Helpful and unhelpful? All show me ranges of action and success (even if there may be cases where it seems to become an on / off state).  Truth and lying sometimes seem that way: if the subject matter is slight and the repercussions of some import, might I be forgiven the lie to preserve whatever better state will come?  But here be dragons . The slippery slope is steep and the risks great.  There is real danger in making an exception for myself when it comes to the truth. Even if in this instance the lie ...

What is this?  A dream? A nightmare! of coercion? Not for me, thank you. Thoughts: I dreamt last night that I was elected President.  This came a a shock to me as I had not run for office. My first thought was "WTF?"  I'm a voluntaryist and have zero desire to rule over anyone but myself.  I would never want to be a pol or a bureaucrat trying to make people to live my idea of what life and society should be . . . by force . My second thought was that being President would make it easy to get my parents' live-in help and access to the highest quality of health care. My third thought was that my kids will both love and hate it. It makes me happy that my first three thoughts were of other people.  Perhaps this whole philosophy thing is working . . . . Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Music: Love theme from Cinema Paradiso by Ennio Morricone

Ten minutes of Mozart. Four lines of Buddha's wisdom. But my thoughts?  A stub. Thoughts: Still struggling to get back into gear writing these journal entries.  Finding the quotes and music etc. is easy.  The books hand them to me.  Creating original content, of course, is much harder. I could simply make my thoughts crib notes of some Stoic passage.  I've done this plenty of times before — practically the entirety of the first two years was such.  But this third year, I'm trying to think more and regurgitate less. So far, it's kicking my butt.  I've done well a few times, but overall, the quality of my journaling has suffered. Today's Meditation: Today's Music: Sonata for two pianos in D major, K. 488, 2: Andante  (7:30 to 17:09) by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Of my moods and sloth, Say less today. Carry me Away and back home.  Thoughts: I've lost my mojo. I've no drive to write my thoughts here. I'm sure it will return, but today is not the day. Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Meditation III: Today's Music: Ein deutsches Requiem - A German Requiem 1: 'Selig sind, die da Leid tragen' - 'Blessed are they that mourn' by Johannes Brahms

We begin to die From the moment we are born. Given a short time. Thoughts: "The wise man too sheds tears, I believe, sometimes when he allows them to flow and sometimes when they well up of their own accord. I will explain the difference. When we are first assailed by the news of an untimely death, when we are holding the body that is soon to pass directly from our embrace into the flames, tears are squeezed out of us by a necessity of nature: just as the breath, when struck by grief's blow, shakes the entire body, so does it press upon and expel the moisture in the vicinity of the eyes. These tears are shed due to internal pressure and involuntarily. There are others, though, to which we give egress when we revisit the memory of those we have lost and find an element of sweetness in our sorrow when we think of their pleasant conversation, their cheerful company, their devoted service. At that time, the eyes release their tears, just as in joy. These we indulge; the others co...

Waiting for wisdom. For Patience and temperance. Waiting for some strength. Thoughts: Epictetus' analogy of a banquet: Patience. Wait for the dish to come. Take a moderate helping. Don't want what isn't presented. Practice this sentiment in all things.  ========== I'm skipping my weekly game with friends today.  Late notice, leaving my friends in the lurch.  I'm just not up for it today. My mind wants to be fallow and unused right now. (It's not so bad as all that. We're used to playing with party members missing and the rest of us meta-playing their roles in the adventure.) Psychologically, I should perhaps force myself to engage; often being around friends and doing The Normal Things™ helps me find the energy to continue on, even if only for the duration. Maybe I'll change my mind in the next couple of hours and join them anyway. Depends on what my gumption meter reads at the time. Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: ...

Finding even keel In troubled times like these Is difficult difficult lemon difficult . Thoughts: In emergencies, I must stand firm and weather the storm.  Make today a worthy day despite not feeling anything like worthy. I will keep it simple: my goal for today is to be kind to my family and to others I meet.  I know I get irritable as this time comes around. I know I get short and uncommunicative and don't feel like interacting with anyone. I want solitude, to be alone with my thoughts and feelings, but that's not an option.  So today, I will be kind. I won't snap at my kids. I won't be short with my wife. I won't curse those who affront me in their ignorance of what is good and what is wrong.  Today, though it take effort far beyond the norm, I will be kind.  Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Music: Theme from Schindler's List by John Williams

Chipped. Part. Damaged.  Between the worlds, taken off. A bloom is frozen. Thoughts: Be where I am . . . . But I don't want to be where I am. It's painful. I don't like it.  So my job is to find a way to deal with it, rather than give in to the temptation to run from it, to escape. Today's Meditation: Today's Music: Mélancolie by Francis Poulenc

I will bask in my memories. I will laugh at the thought of you. I will love you still. Thoughts: Today was a good day, but next week will be tough.  It always is. I'm practicing being calm, reminding myself of the basic teachings I honor: I can only control what is up to me; I do not have to assent to emotional flushes and rash judgments; I am given my children for an unknown time and I must make the most of each day; acceptance and transcendence, bear and forbear; accept what is and do my best within these circumstances. And spend time thinking about you.  Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Music: Piano Quartet in E flat major, op. 47, 3: Andante cantabile  (from 12:15 to 19:08) by Robert Schumann

Day late, dollar short. Procrastinating last night No post 'til today. Thoughts: The Stoics teach me that fear is often fear of nothing, of some thing or things which will not come to pass.  I make it up in my head and suffer needlessly because I don't focus on what it real, what is in front of me. Buddha reminds me that accepting what is, a la  the Stoics' amor fati , leads to peace and acceptance. May I learn this lesson and practice it . . . especially at 3 freaking AM. Today's Meditation I: Today's Meditation II: Today's Meditation III: Today's Music: Flute Concerto in A minor, 1: Allegro assai  (4:29 - 7:57)  by Carl Philipp Emmanuel Bach Today's Shakespeare: Romeo and Juliet , Act 2 Scene 2

A poem. A poem. My kingdom for a poem! But sire, you don't have a kingdom. Well then, perhaps a couplet for a hearty round of applause? Thoughts: My relationship with my wife is based on work. We work at it, actively — maybe not everyday, we are human after all — because we know that if we let it idle or lie fallow, we'd be wasting our most precious possession: our time. Were acutely aware of how precious our time together, and together as a family, truly is. So we do our best to be present, helpful, kind, loving, trusting, giving people to each other and our kids. We want our love to be so normalized in our lives that we can take it as a surity but we don't take it for granted.  Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Meditation III: Today's Music: Concerto for two violins in D minor, BWV 1043 2: Largo ma non tanto by Johann Sebastian Bach

Some daaaay my prince will Be comin' round the mountain Mama. Take me home.  Thoughts: Always thus: I anticipate the Good Thing™; I eat / do the Good Thing™; I am mentally distracted and not really paying attention during the Good Thing™ and I realize I didn't enjoy the Good Thing™ as much as I should; OR I do pay attention but the Good Thing™ is not as good as I expect it to be; I regret the Good Thing™ in the future. If I took Epictetus' advice, I could skip the first five steps....  Today's Meditation: Today's Music: Symphonic Dances from West Side Story 4: Mambo by Leonard Bernstein

"Regular woman" Stolen from conversation Between a couple.  Thoughts: I know of many benefits I've accrued from studying Stoicism. Calm, patience, kindness, an increased sense of control, deeper love for my family, a greater portion of helpfulness, greater appreciation for my community . . . the list goes on. Sometimes I sell myself for 30 silver, indulging a vice and breaking my calm. Then I have to do better next time. I often fail then as well. Still much work to do.  Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Meditation III: Today's Music: 6 Consolations No. 3 in D flat majo r by Franz Liszt

End of an Era, The final episode played. On to new series. Thoughts: If sin is the result of stupidity, and assumptions are the termites of relationships, then clarifying your assumptions will help you from sinning in ignorance against your relationships.  Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Music: Nocturne for violin and piano by Lili Boulanger

About this evening . . . I'm going to need you to . . . Be kind. Do good.  Rest. Thoughts: Trying to work myself into a mood to work on this entry, but it's tough sledding. Do I force myself because I made a commitment to myself to do this every day? Or do I "take a day off" and follow Emerson's maxim, "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines." It's a consistency, definitely.  But is it foolish ?  In general, of course not — these exercises have made me better in so many ways over the past couple of years — but in particular?  As in, today ?  Perhaps. I think I'll leave it here and, should I be inspired later, I'll come back and add more. Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Music: Agnus Dei by Charlotte Bray