Today's Meditation: Another Stoic thought regarding bearing and forbearing, continuing on yesterday's entry: o thers have survived this, there is a way.  Others have survived what I have experienced.  Lesser people have survived the same.  Still others have survived even worse.* Does that mean it will be easy? No. Does it mean I mightn't wail and gnash my teeth, at least for a while? No. Does it mean that I will know the way? No. But it means there is a way. And if a way exists, there is still something to try, something to look for and continue on. Keep looking. And if the pain is truly unbearable, the door is always open. ===== * Not the we need enter the Pain Olympics and begin competing claims on Misfortune's attention. My pain is independent of others and their pain. In the physical world, for example, some can bear pain which would make others crumple and weep. My 3 may be your 7 and his 10. The same stimulus brings forth different reactions from different people...

Today's Meditation: Enchiridion, 8 Do not try to make what happens happen as you wish, but wish for what happens in the way that it happens and then the current of your life will flow easily. I read, made special note of it, this just before a post online made me think of my dead son. Even now it is still hard to do. I know I can't change the past*. Wishing it were different is not only foolish but harmful to my psyche. It cannot change. Let it be. Live the life I have left. Live with the family I have. Embrace it for the alternative is lasting disability and slaving myself for no reason. Some may say "You must not have truly loved him" or some such waddle because "look at X or Y or Z. Don't you see how miserable they are? How devastated? How out of their mind they are with grief? It's been years and they've never recovered. They're still in the depths, subsumed by their grief." Of what use is that? In what way does it make me a better person...

Today's Meditation: Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu (trans. by Jacob Needleman), One Still one of my favorite passages in any book ever. It was the first line that gave me my natal glimpse of a world beyond wisdom: that if I am to find enlightenment, it is, it must be, my personal experience. No one can give it to me. I cannot take it from another. No matter how deep a thought I learn from another may be, it is only a signifier, one of ten thousand names. It is not the eternal name. The Tao is formless and formed, all things encompassed. Beyond all and within all. The Name is the mother of ten thousand things. Naming, by it's nature, differentiates and separates, breaking things into pieces and obscuring the Tao. There is an eternal Name, but I cannot know it or learn it or read it in any book or scroll. I can discover it, but I may never see that Truth. The Tao begins and exists through and ends all things. The Named delineates and constrains ten thousand things into the...

Today's Meditation: The Pocket Thich Nhat Hanh (ed. by Melvin McLeod), The Businessless Person The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao. Buddhist texts are texts. Clues? Yes. Guideposts? Yes. Hints? Yes. Truth? No. All enlightenment comes from within and then only when I am ready. Others can guide me, point out things that prior experiences have shown to usually be detrimental to searching for enlightenment, help me explore thoughts and feelings, inspiration and epiphanies, but no one can deliberately give me the insight that will take me to a new way of being. I have to be open to it. I have to be ready. Reading the words, practicing the exercises, exploring the philosophies are all part of how I can be ready. But they are not readiness itself.

Today's Meditation: The Pocket Thich Nhat Hanh (ed. by Melvin McLeod), Pure Land A Pure Land, I've learned this morning, i s "a transcendent realm emanated by a buddha or bodhisattva which has been purified by their activity and sustaining power. Pure lands are said to be places without the sufferings of samsara and to be beyond the three planes of existence." Thich Nhat Hanh's point in this entry is that the Pure Land is all about me if I can just see it.  If I open myself to the wonder of the world, maybe I can touch this realm, if only ever so briefly. But I can do it again if I keep at it. The more I look for it and open myself to the reality around me, well, and it may not get easier, but it might happen again. And even if inspiration and enlightenment don't bloom in my soul, at least I'll have a life made better simply by making the effort. It reminds me of an old comic....if I can find it, I'll come back and post it.

Today's Meditation: The Pocket Thich Nhat Hanh (ed by Melvin McLeod), Pure Land Compassion and empathy are crucial. If I want to live up to my ideals, that is the place to start. Think of the person first. Put myself in their situation. Give the benefit of the doubt. Give understanding.  ===== What It's Like  by Everlast (1998) We've all seen a man at the liquor store beggin' for your change The hair on his face is dirty, dread-locked, and full of mange He asks a man for what he could spare, with shame in his eyes "Get a job you fucking slob, " is all he replies God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes 'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues ... Then you really might know what it's like ... Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom that said he was in love He said, "Don't worry about a thing, baby doll, I'm the man you've been dreaming of" Three months later he say he won't d...

Today's Meditation: The Pocket Stoic by John Sellars, p. 51 Tonight, after his 2-hour practice in the torrid summer evening, my son and I went to our normal Tuesday night pick-up game. I feared he might demur, given his equally blazing hatred of being hot, but he persisted and played a fair amount. It took little coaxing from me to get him back on the field for one more play, one more point. During the game I related the story of Muhammad Ali's famous quote about sit-ups — "I don't count my sit-ups; I only start counting when it starts hurting, because those are the only ones that count." — hoping to engender a bit more toughness out of him. One more go. One more round. I'm quite happy to say he did it. He played hard, despite his fatigue and despite the heat. I've worried for a while now that he is too soft. Historically, he's malingered and shied away from things requiring extra effort. And I've laid part of that on myself because he...

Today's Meditation: The Pocket Stoic by John Sellars, p. 49 Welcoming adversity is still beyond me. I haven't reached that level yet in my Stoic training. I can grasp intellectually the benefits of hardship, understanding that, if it's going to happen, if life is going to be this way, I might as well get something from this trial. Whether it's practice using Stoic virtues (or lesser virtues like patience or empathy) or finding the lesson life is trying to teach me (even if that lesson is 'stop being a dumbass'), I can profit from this situation. I keep thinking about the old saw of 'when you're going through hell, keep going!' Stopping will only prolong the suck. Parallel to that, if I have to experience troubles, find a way to gain from them. It would be truly unfortunate to endure such without gaining anything at all.

Today's Meditation: “Whenever anyone assents to what is false, one may be sure that he does not willingly give his assent to falsehood (‘for every mind is deprived of the truth against its will,’ as Plato observes), but rather that what is false seemed to him to be true.”  ~ Epictetus (as quoted in the Daily Stoic 260823) If I want to understand, I have to disarm the automatic assignment of blame or condemnation when someone does something that thwarts me in ways large or picayune. I've (generally) been successful at training myself to think of the person first .  I should with practice, become better at giving others the benefit of the doubt, assuming accident or ignorance rather than malfeasance. Ive done this a bit while driving, learned to set the automatic anger — the raw impulse of hurt or harm or fear — aside as soon as it entered my mind, but it is yet severely deficient in both occurrance and staying power. Time to make this passage a more central reflex. Keep it top ...

Today's Meditation: Some pursue glory by the road of strife, Others are turned to gain without restraint, And some relax in sensual delights, But all win evil, turn they here or there In thwarted eagerness to find the good. Hymn to Zeus , Cleanthes Virtue, excellence, is my goal. Pursuing glory? gain? dissipation? Not so much. Some, but not much. Not to excess. Not that it means I've found the good.

Today's Meditation: A Calendar of Wisdom by Leo Tolstoy (trans. Sekirin) The less I want, the happier I'll be. And the more easily I will achieve my goals.

Today's Meditation: A Calendar of Wisdom by Leo Tolstoy (trans. Cockrell) Nature fans desire,  As vicious acts crowd my mind. Stillness tempers pain. Wise Thoughts for Every Day by Leo Tolstoy (ed. and trans. Sekirin) A life once lived in Unhappy, ignorant sin. Be better. Do right.

Today's Meditation: Lies-to-children pass Through the minds of beginners On the road to right. Following Nature. Following Eternal Tao. Following Reason. Will I ever be quiet enough? Will I ever have that flash of insight? Will my elephant relent? ===== A random thought from last night . . . grand (read: stupid) gestures in relationships are like peacock tails: they prove the  gesturer can absorb the loss, the overuse of resources, in return for for the gestee's acceptance of their mating dance.

Today's Meditation: The Pocket Stoic by John Sellars, 3: The Problem with Emotions I can maintain my equanimity by maintaining my pause, my 'space between stimulus and response.' I need to teach myself, or rather train myself, to act not  re act, just as we can learn to mitigate our startle response.  Take a soldier. They live their lives around guns and explosions. Do they jump and shiver every time one goes off? Not if they've been trained properly. Repeated exposure to the sounds, from practice on the firing range to hearing artillery and fighter planes race around the sky, they learn to stop panicking every time something sudden and loud happens near them.* So do the same for what penchants I have for impulsive anger, jealousy, envy, panic, offense, embarrassment, and outrage. Practice my premeditatio malorum . Imagine in great detail, with as much versimillitude as I can, situations in which I am slighted or insulted, jostled or struck, embarrassed or...

Today's Meditation: On Providence , Seneca, 4.11 Save for losing my son and now my parents, I've had too soft a life. Worse, I've inflicted this on my children as well. I've some searching and thinking to do. How to improve myself. To become more tolerant to cold and lack of comfort. To find my gumption traps and fix them. To practice my premeditatio malorum . even when it's less-than-fun. How to help my children. Mostly to become more resilient and perseverant.

Today's Meditation: The Daily Stoic 260816 I made bad choices yesterday. I excepted myself from my own rules. I indulged when I knew I should not. Today is an opportunity to be better, to make choices that are wiser, kinder, sustainable . . . better. The start has gone well. Let's keep it going.

Today's Meditation: A Calendar of Wisdom by Leo Tolstoy (trans. Cockrell) Innocence allows for joy, but is it sufficient? Perhaps. In my appetency, I cannot know. ===== Wise Thoughts for Every Day by Leo Tolstoy (ed. and trans. Sekirin) How central is forgiveness. It unburdens the psyche (soul / heart / mind), freeing me to become better. "Why are you still carrying her?"  becomes "Why am I still carrying it*?" Let. It. Go. ===== * 'it' = the sins committed against me that I allow to undermine my serenity, my happiness, my innocent joy at life

Today's Meditation: A Calendar of Wisdom by Leo Tolstoy Anything put on long enough seems deemed to be from the heavens.  Life without force seems otherworldly, unwise, foolish. But it's not.

Today's Meditation: The Tower of Life: Letters from a Stoic to His Son  by Mihail Yonkov, Anima Pingitur Cogitationibus Suis Excellence (virtue) is a habit. As I consistently do, so I am. So do already! And do again! And again! It's worth it. It gets easier. It reinforces. Do and be happy.

Today's Meditation : The Tower of Life: Letters from a Stoic to His Son by Mihail Yonkov, IX: Luck Sorta like Premeditatio Malorum . Imagine the 'bad' situation (I lose my job, someone tells me a lie, someone is ill, divorce, losing a loved one . . . the kind of thing normally thought of as bad in the usual sense of the word). The more and better I think through these 'bad' things, play with them and examine the situation and my role in it the more capable I'll be if / something 'bad' happens.  Note the technical distinction between Stoic good and bad and good and bad in the vernacula: Stoic good is living a virtuous life,. They do this trying to live in agreement with reason and follow Nature. Bad = living viciously (from vice). 

Today's Meditation: The Tower of Life: Letters from a Stoic to His Son by Mihail Yonkov, Aedificium Tuum, Speculum Tuum A great take. As I've heard and said myself, happiness is a crowded table. Let me not look for others for validation. Focus on my family and friends, and others I can bring into my world.

Today's Meditation: Letters from a Stoic to His Son by Mihail Yonkov, VII. Associate With Those Who May Improve You Some bits to not dislike in this section and a few things simply wrong . First, the bad: --- First he denigrates shepherds (read: people who aren't interested in 'building a tower' [read: personality] in his mold — which, I need remember is so far not distinctly Stoic in any way). Then he says "don't judge others' 'structures' " (same as tower above) as good or bad. Then he states plainly a moral relativism utterly antithetical to Stoicism. Stoicism has virtue, excellence, as it's only good. Nothing else matters. Not money nor property nor high birth nor expensive trinkets and fancy friends. If you are not pursuing virtue, you are doing it wrong. Other choices are not just as good. === Let me end with some good advice he offers: Forgiveness is key if we want to live together in social harmo...

Today's Meditation: The Tower of Life: Letters from a Stoic to His Son by Mihail Yonkov, VI. Consistency What Mr. Yonkov is saying is 100% true and 100% important. But . . . I'm not even going to say it. Cf. Calvin Coolidge's quote on persistence: "Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On!' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."

Today's Meditation: The Tower of Life: Letters from a Stoic to His Son by Mihail Yonkov, V. On Meaning and Purpose Considering the reality of the situation is a Stoic precept: deal with the real world as it is.  Don't add my assumptions and fears and hopes to the mix: what, in it most straightforward sense, is presented to me?

Today's Meditation: Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse (trans. by Joachim Neugroschel)  The Tao that can be told is not the true Tao. It's a reflection, a piece, an incomplete expression of a whole that must be experienced to be approached.