260224 What I learned in my studies this morning 6

Today's Mediation:

"...what harm does that stupid insult do? It’s nothing, Jimmy, it’s empty. Just ignorant words from an ignorant child who is gone from your life the moment it was said.”

... 

It happened. It’s done. It doesn’t change your responsibilities.

... 

We can keep running the numbers, replaying the mistakes, and assigning fault, but the total never changes. That type of math keeps us stuck in the past. The past is gone, and no amount of calculation will bring it back or make it fair. What we do have is agency right now. We can choose to let go, to move on, and to move forward. Agency doesn’t exist in the past—it only exists now. ~ The Daily Stoic 260222

How do I deal with mistakes? I try to shake them off and move on, but it doesn't always work . . . mainly in the middle of the night.

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Right now, my son is having a crisis of confidence because he is not as good at his chosen sport (Ultimate) as he wants to be.

Worse, he feels this because we play pick up with a former pro player who likes to show everyone how good he is. He does this by outplaying the rest of us in a faiely obnoxious manner.

Tonight, he was playing against my teenage son. It didn't go well.

I tried to talk to him on our way home, but reminding him of the 7 or 8 year age difference, the fact that this guy is several inches taller, the length of time he's been playing, the professional coaching he's received etc. made no difference.

Unfortunately, I don't have a background in coaching or sports psychology, so I don't know any magic words to share with him.

Instead, I gave him the best general advice I have: any time you are facing a situation in which you aren't sure what to do, or you aren't performing the way you want to: go back to the basics.

If it's a moral choice, is this something under my control? Is this a question of virtue? Which one? How can I apply it?

If it's a physical activity, focus on your body positioning, angles, aim, etc. Forget the last rep; play the next one.

If it's a strategic decision, what's my goal? What are my options? What are my resources?

This failed to mollify him and, while I'm sure it will help when (if) he keeps it in mind, I'm left looking for other answers to shore up his confidence.