210812 What I learned in my studies this morning

Early coffee steams

Bringing bitterness and warmth.

Challenge me, o day!

Daily Stoic:

Wisdom is wisdom, regardless of originality.  If I quote something insightful, it doesn't lose it's sagacity because someone else said it first.  The proof of the pudding is in the doing. (To bastardize another old phrase.)

What makes my contribution unique is my implementation of these principles.

Like I said ereyesterday, time to get to work.

Today's Meditation:

Daily Shakespeare:

From Letters from a Stoic by Seneca, Letter XLVII:

In this letter, Seneca's lesson for Lucilius is twofold:

1. Slaves are humans just like the rest of us

2. Do not worry about the opinions of others.

Yesterday, we discussed the first lesson. Today, the second.

How often do we consider what others will think of us? How often do we do something unnecessary, or fail to do something we need do, because we crave or fear the opinion of our contemporaries?

When we face such a challenge, it is good to remind ourselves of the example set by Cato: 

“Seeing the lightest and gayest purple was then most in fashion, he would always wear that which was the nearest black; and he would often go out of doors, after his morning meal, without either shoes or tunic; not that he sought vain-glory from such novelties, but he would accustom himself to be ashamed only of what deserves shame, and to despise all other sorts of disgrace.” ~ Plutarch, The Life of Cato the Younger

Train yourself to ignore approbation and opposition.  Unless it truly matters, and it only truly matters when virtue is involved, let it slip from your cares as easily as the location of your keys when you are in a hurry. 

Taking a slightly different approach, Seneca's lesson is focused on the fact that we are all, in the grand scheme of things, equal.  We all answer to someone or some thing.  We share the same biology.  We live on the same planet.  We all live.  We all die.

If you and I are the same on the macro level, why should we be embarrassed about some slight difference between us in the microcosm of this brief interaction?

Remind yourself of the many reasons your apprehension is unnecessary.

— Circumstances may change and put those whose scorn you fear into the same position as they might mock.  Were they wise, they would realize this and withhold their disapproval.

— Seeking others approval give them power over you.  ("Any person capable of angering you becomes your master.” — Epictetus)  Why give away such a precious asset?

— Memento mori plays a part as well.  Your time here is limited and you may not  ever have another chance to do this thing.  If you miss it, it will be gone forever and your life will be poorer for it.  How different will their life be if you withdraw because of their opinion?  Not a whit.  And if you continue with your plans? Not a whit.  (“The trouble is you think you have time.” – Buddha)

— You don't know these people and, as happens so very often in our modern life, there is a strong possibility you will never see them again. Why should you care what they think of you?  Somewhere, there's a person in this world who utterly hates you because of something you wrote online.  Who cares?  Their disapproval will never touch your life and certainly never harm your virtue.

— Continuing from the last point, you have to face the consequences of what you do / don't do.  They do not.  Live that way.

— You are probably wrong about what they are thinking.  In fact, chances are other people are not thinking about you at all.  You are an NPC in their world, not a main character.  That moment from 7th grade which still mortifies you decades later?  NO.ONE.REMEMBERS.IT.BUT.YOU. (“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you If you realized how seldom they do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt)

— Most people's reactions are, at least in part, driven by their personal histories.  Since you cannot control their past nor its effects on how they perceive the current situation, this is 100% in the "things I cannot control" category and thus beyond your caring.

— Your motivation for doing / not doing something is your own.  The flipside of the previous bullet, other people have no access to your inner world.  Had they the knowledge, experience, and goals you have, they might very well do exactly what you are doing now.

— Despite us all being equal in the long term, high-level view, we are not them and they are not us.  What is right for you may not be what is right for them.  Act on what is right for you.

— You can't please everyone.  If you have to choose whom to please, choose wisely.  Should I serve duty / honor / virtue / myself / my family / my friends / my coworkers / someone who is depending on me?  Or should I serve the stranger over there giving me a sideways glance (and then forgetting I exist)?

The list could go on and on.  Time to cut it short and make a decision: is it your life or theirs?