230921 What I learned in my studies this morning 3

Limping through life, tired.
Kinda doesn't want to stay.
Will he stay or go?

Today's Meditation(s):

Thoughts:

I may be tested on this soon. More paternal health issues. I'm practicing my Premeditatio malorum, preparing for the inevitable, though still unscheduled, event.

Thinking through how it will play out. Wondering what my best actions would be. Planning how to both help my mom and siblings and to process my own feelings.

I'm torn. I love my dad. I want him to be here for my mom, my children. I also know he's miserable. Always in pain. Becoming more confused. Worried he's going to end up like others we know who lost their mind much more comprehensively.

I just want him to be at peace.