250226 What I learned in my studies this morning 5

Today's Meditation(s):

Letters on Ethics by Seneca, LXX.4 (Graver)

Had my father been lucid, and not Catholic, he would have chosen to die months before he did.

He told us often, and in certain terms, that he vehemently did not want to live as an invalid and incompetent.

Even in his delerium, I knew he hated it. Had he been able to simply allow himself to die, he would have. But he was always afraid of the mortal sin of not living as long as possible.

I hated it. I used to long for him to slip this mortal coil and go on to whatever awaited him. It had to be better than how he was merely existing, with no trace of the man who once shone so brightly left in his eyes.

Rest in peace, dad. I love you.