Rosy-fingered dawn  Announced by meows in my bed. Time to make doughnuts. Daily Stoic:  I ask for help when I need it . . . for all the unimportant things in life.  I tend to stay within myself when I am working on bigger things, mental or spiritual things. Trouble is, not knowing how to ask.  I mean, I know how to ask — Hi! I'm [student].  I need help, please. — but I don't know how to make myself utter that sentence  . . . to another human . . . out loud  . . . where they can hear it. A big part of the problem is knowing who to ask. My experience with counselors and other psych professionals has been hit or miss.  One time seemed to help. The others?  Yeah. Not so much.  It just seems like wasting resources to me (time, money, attention, etc.). Where's the old man on the mountain when you need him?   Today's Meditation: From A Calendar of Wisdom by Leo Tolstoy Daily Meditation II: From Zen Flesh, Zen Bones by Paul Reps and Nyo...

Sunlight on a walk The air moving around me. Bright face of the day. Bonus Haiku:   Take note: a lesson In seven syllables is Handed to you. Smile. Daily Stoic:  Shut up. Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up. ( Kinda reminds me of that preacher ....)  I am famous for using few words when they'll do. People know that, when writing professionally, I communicate as directly as I can to make sure my message is understood.  (I try to do it with style, but making sure my audience has their best chance of "getting it" is my top goal, taking priority over everything else.)  Why does this well-known parsimony flee when I speak with others?  Usually, it's because I'm not paying attention closely enough to what they are saying, planning, instead, what I will say when next it is my turn to speak. That, or I'm in the wrong mode; they're in "I just want someone to hear me!" vent mode and I'm in "Here's how you fix it" problem-s...

Purring around my  Cat is twisting into a New definition.  Daily Stoic:  Why keep doing what I always do if what I'm doing isn't working? Time for a change.  Today's Meditation:

Sometimes humans do.  Nature forms people that way.  It's part of it all.  Daily Stoic:  I have an important duty to perform: living my life well. It is a duty I choose freely and for which I train daily.  It was not always this way. I must prepare myself, mentally, physically, and psychically to endure whatever life throws at me.  I must have the courage to face hard choices.  The perseverance to continue even when the going gets tough.  The knowledge and insight to act properly when the time comes.  The selflessness to consider how my actions affect others.  The discipline to hold to my values despite personal cost. This is why I study. Today's Meditation: From A Calendar of Wisdom  by Leo Tolstoy From  A Guide to the Good Life  by William B. Irvine  Chapter 17: Old Age — On Being Banished to a Nursing Home When we are young, we are invincible.  We have all the time in the world. We hold al potential in the pal...

Rain threatens again,  Nature ignores careful plans.  Happy, still, the day.  Daily Stoic:  This is one of my primary goals in homeschooling our children: teaching them to be flexible enough to adapt to novel situations as they occur rather than trying to hand them rote patterns to use in every possible experience. Among other things, we emphasize that there is (almost always) more than one way to come to an answer to a problem.  We explicitly tell our kids "You may do it differently than I do and that's ok. I don't care how you get to the solution, so long as you are correct (and your method is repeatable)." We (try to) encourage creativity, ingenuity, independence, resilience, and all those attributes which will help them work through difficult circumstances when we're not around and they are forced to handle things themselves. We also help them learn research skills. With so much information online now, having an answer or solving a problem in an efficient w...

Happy Friday, folks. Birthdays and visits fill the Weekend hours with joy. Daily Stoic:  It's simple: don't make things worse.  When I overreact, when I become emotional and lose control, I often do things I regret. Fix this and I'll be well on my way to a better life . . . if only because I'm screwing it up less. Today's Meditation: From A Calendar of Wisdom by Leo Tolstoy From  A Guide to the Good Life  by William B. Irvine  Chapter 15: Personal Values — On Luxurious Living  Pursuing wealth and having wealth are not the same thing.   If you have money, there is nothing wrong with that.  Doing things by which you can earn money is also acceptable. It's the misguided attempt to gain more than you need, at the cost of your serenity, that is a problem. As usual, Stoics suggest practicing negative visualization to keep yourself prepared for any losses that you face.  Also, the prescribe practicing poverty and lack every once in a while (they ...

Day-to-day studies Convinced I'm making progress. Danger. Be humble. Daily Stoic:  Do or do not. There is no try.  I'm not an envious person by nature — usually I'm really good at seeing another's fortune and feeling genuinely glad for them rather than bad for myself — even so, I do sometimes find myself wishing I could do what others seem to do with ease.  Then I remind myself that, short of some masterful talent in that other person or a physical limitation of my body (i.e. I'm never going to dunk a basketball no matter how much I practice), I can do what they do . . . if I were to put in the hours they have to become proficient in that skill.  Today's lesson is exactly that: if I truly want to be able to do something, I must be willing to put in the practice. If I do, I can achieve much more than I already have mastered.    Today's Meditation: From Zen Flesh Zen Bones by Paul Reps and Nyogen Senzaki From  A Guide to the Good Life  b...

Playing in the stream Otters dance between the waves. Books open new worlds. Daily Stoic:  Nip it in the bud.  Many bad habits are already ingrained, rutted into my day-to-day after so many trips down that lane. How much easier would it have been to stop them at the source, rather than wait for them to become an uncrossable torrent? To do: Start slowly and begin remediating those vices I already have. Lay the first branches which will make the dam. Be watchful for new foibles before they grow into degeneracy.  Cull them before they become dangerous to health and  happiness.   Today's Meditation: From  A Guide to the Good Life  by William B. Irvine  Chapter 15: Personal Values — On Luxurious Living Leaving fame aside, people often place acquiring money and expensive things atop their hierarchy of values.  Is it that hard to see why this  might be a bad idea? Recognizing this, the Stoics offered some details about how to prevent this from ...

Do the next right thing, Queens and emperors agree. Tao for modern life. Daily Stoic:  Do the next right thing.  I love this mantra : it's proper and purposeful, focused and fit . . . and it says everything Marcus said in just five words.  Do . . . action. Activity. I need to be moving to accomplish my goals. The next . . . proximity.  What is in front of me?  What follows naturally from what I just did and leads to my goal?  Does it follow the  tao  of life and action? Right thing . . . proper, virtuous, apt, fitting. Is this in line with my personal morality?  Does it make the world a better place? Small steps complete the journey.  Big picture thinking is good and important, but it is not how goals are achieved.  Winning is done by doing the next right thing.   Today's Meditation: From A Calendar of Wisdom  by Leo Tolstoy From  A Guide to the Good Life  by William B. Irvine  Chapter 14:...

Daily reflection On wisdom of others long Buried in the past. Daily Stoic:  I have been lucky in my life. My parents are excellent role models for me. They love each other, taught me right from wrong, instilled in me a sense of decency, and generally gave me the tools I needed to begin life.  Unworthy student that I am, I had to touch the stove to prove it really was hot; I still needed the experience of life to make these lessons stick, though. Even with these advantages, I understand that my parents are limited humans: good people, but neither omniscient nor omnisophic. Because of this, I follow the lead of the quote in my header: “Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings so that you shall come easily by what others have labored hard for." There are a million, million books out there that contain something I can learn. Some bit of wisdom, earned through someone else's struggle, which I can take in, adopt, adapt, and use in my own life in...

How does it go? "Fame!  I'm gonna live forever!"  Not for me. Hell no.  Daily Stoic:  I am not who I was when I was a child. I'm not who I was when I was 20. Or 30 or 40. Hells, I'm not even who I was just a year ago.  Why do I cling to outdated thinking or behaviors? I must have the courage to change when change is necessary or better than what I am already doing.  Thus, my studies. Looking for the better ways. Keeping what continues to work and make me a better person and discarding those habits for which I find better alternatives.  From  A Guide to the Good Life  by William B. Irvine  Chapter 14: Personal Values — On Seeking Fame Stoics regard fame in many senses. There's historical fame. There's international or national fame. There's regional or city-wide fame. And there's the fame within your local circle. All are, to Stoics, unworthy of pursuit and even ultimately injurious to living a good, serene, satisf...

Meditating as I walk through fields with my son.  Peaceful ritual.  Daily Stoic:  Why do I bewail my fate instead of, in Marcus Aurelius' words, "get[ting] busy in [my] own rescue"?  Action to change my situation is better than praying for someone else to save me.    Today's Meditations: "The people you respect and admire? The people who seem to be so self-aware, so in touch with themselves? The chances that they keep a journaling practice is nearly a guarantee. Not only because the list of known journalers throughout history is comically long—Ralph Waldo Emerson, Henry David Thoreau, Virginia Woolf, Joan Didion, John Steinbeck, Sylvia Plath, Anaïs Nin, Martina Navratilova, and Ben Franklin—just to name a few, but because it’s impossible to become so without taking that interior voyage. That’s what the greats realized. That’s why they journaled. It wasn’t to be immortalized in history. It wasn’t to produce Nobel Prize-worthy prose. It wasn’t so ...

Tech problems abound, Mosquitos buzzing my ear. Heed them not.  Keep calm. From The Daily Stoic:  I have a purpose: to be the best person I can be.  Many things are contained within that purpose (being a good spouse / father / son / brother / friend), but that is the primary goal.  Within it, all these other ends come to pass. Like the slogan above the exit to the Notre Dame locker room ("Play like a champion today"), that goal should always be in mind. Today's Meditation: From A Calendar of Wisdom by Leo Tolstoy From  A Guide to the Good Life  by William B. Irvine  Chapter 13: Anger — On Overcoming Anti-Joy Practice small. A teen's stomped foot. A slammed door.  A sotto voce clapback as someone walks away.  The food that isn't the exact right temperature.  The bus or train or Uber that is 3 minutes late.  The slow WIFI connection at Starbucks.  The slow walker taking up the whole passage. All of these things are annoyances, ...

Laughter in a park, Children play near where I sit. Nothing is better. From The Daily Stoic:  If I cannot do exactly what I want to do to help society, I can try to help a different way.  If I can't do that, I will look for another way.  If that is not possible, I will look for a fourth or fifth or twelfth way to do something positive. I will not let the perfect be the enemy of achieving some good in this life.   Today's Meditation: From A Calendar of Wisdom  by Leo Tolstoy From  A Guide to the Good Life  by William B. Irvine  Chapter 13: Anger — On Overcoming Anti-Joy Some see anger as a tool to be used for motivation. Seneca points out that the problem with this is that anger can be notoriously difficult to turn off and put aside.  It may, perhaps, offer the drive you want to achieve, but it is just as likely, even moreso, to push you beyond your goals and generate negative consequences.  Better to cultivate a calm but dire...

A late start this day.  Morning sooner and sooner More time to do more.  From The Daily Stoic:    Today's Meditation:

Back to the office.  A good chance to practice my Stoic calm and peace.  From The Daily Stoic:  No matter what happens, I choose my state of mind. I can despair or I can hope. I can give up or I can learn. I can stew and fret and allow myself all the psychic tribulations on the menu or I can resolve to make the most of my situation and continue.  You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind. ~ Mahatma Gandhi   Today's Meditation: From A Calendar of Wisdom by Leo Tolstoy From  A Guide to the Good Life  by William B. Irvine  Chapter 13: Anger — On Overcoming Anti-Joy Anger clouds our judgment.  It pushed us into rash actions.  It lets loose words which can never be unsaid.  It creates rifts between people which need not exist. So much of our life would be easier if we did not experience anger. Since that is not possible, the best we can do is to con...

More on grief today.  A subject near to my heart.  Treated day-by-day.  From The Daily Stoic:  It's the answer to "Why bother to do all of this?" It's simple, yet difficult. Impetus to continue my reading and studying and practicing.  Everything to be a better person. A better husband. A better father. A better son. A better brother. A better friend.  Today's Meditation: From A Calendar of Wisdom by Leo Tolstoy  From  A Guide to the Good Life  by William B. Irvine  Chapter 12: Grief — On Vanquishing Tears with Reason Comforting someone should not be the same as experiencing their pain as your own.  We can be empathetic and understanding. We can offer succor and provide strength. We can do all the things we should do to help our heartbroken friend without breaking our own heart in the process.  Grief is natural and cathartic. It helps us process the loss we have experienced. To pretend it doe...