Today's Meditation(s): Enchiridion , 26 (Waterfield)  "So it goes," right? My friend's a Vonnegut nut, which is good or I'd probably never have read him. "So it goes" resonated deeply with me. Death is . There's no bargaining with it. There's no changing it. Once it's here, pretending otherwise is actively lying to myself. It's not innocent. It's not harmless. It leads me to bad decisions (or not making necessary ones) and turning an already bad situation worse. Am I forbidden to grieve? No. Within reason, Stoics grieve as does anyone else, but we strive to practice temperance in our indulgence. Follow Reason. Follow Nature. Focus on what is up to me and what is not up to me. Use wisdom, courage, and justice. What others do or think is not up to me. What's the old saying? If you're going through hell, keep going . If my grief is crippling me, making me unable to help my family or myself, then it's harming my l...

Today's Meditation(s): Epictetus, Enchiridion , 4.1.100-101 (as translated by Hadot) I must align my will with Nature, that I actively want  what happens to happen, what does not happen to not happen. Is tranquility worth it? Is virtue? Is being seemingly indifferent to everything in life a cost worth paying? Should we listen to our inner poet? Screaming at us that passion is what makes life worth living . But we know that's not true, right?  How often is passion negative (anger, frustration, embarrassment, fear, anxiety, depression) versus positive (love, care, safety, confidence, joy)? The balance is almost always negative.  How often does being in the throes of passion, of either type, made my decisions better ? Hardly if ever.  How long does a good feeling last versus a negative? Hardly a blink. It's not about not feeling anything. Emotions happen. I can certainly feed them, perhaps extinguish them, hopefully guide or control them, but I cannot  prevent ...

Today's Meditation(s): Came across this today. Decatastrophizing (i.e. using neutral terms, without adding emotional judgments to the description) my first reaction, this was . . . unexpected. Certainly not something I thought I'd see on a 'humor' site today. It provoked a passion in me that made me . . . ineffective . . . for the next few minutes. Yes, I blame myself for my son's death. No, I'm not over it. I try to be a better husband, father, and man to make up for it, to assuage my guilt. It doesn't work, it cannot, but I try anyway because I have no choice. He is gone and pretending he is not, or neurotically wishing he were not, is actively harmful, delusional. I know it's natural for me to still feel bad about my son.  What would not be natural would be extravagant grief. I sometimes wish I were more expressive, though. It would probably feel good to vent some of this. I'm still working through this process, finding my way. I may never reach t...

Today's Meditation(s): Everything is a trade off. If I want something, say, to see a favorite artist play live, I must necessarily give up doing anything else during the concert. I can't both have dinner with my family and tuck in the kids. Or watch the hockey game on my TV. Or listen to an audiobook. Or talk on the phone.  Etc. And that's just what's lost because my attempts at duolocation have (to date) been unsuccessful. There's also the 'lost' money and the time of my life that money represents. Trade-offs also come as favors for behaviors. If I toady to the right person, they'll treat me well.  I can't complain about not being 'treated well' if I didn't show sufficient deference in the first place. If I refuse to pay the piper, I cannot call a tune. ( 'But how often are offers tendered?' ya mook. )

Today's Meditation(s): Epictetus, Enchiridion, 24:3,5 (Waterfield) What a great way to counter peer pressure. Either they choose to keep me as as trustworthy and loyal friend or they reveal themselves to wish me harm. Probably not directly, but harm nonetheless: they're asking me to voluntarily choose to go against my principles, against reason and Nature, for their (and perhaps my) 'benefit'. At the same time, it reminds them (and me) that no position is worth holding if it requires your virtues as payment.

Today's Meditation(s): My family is visiting grandfolk for a few days so it's just me and the cats. And the huge dogs who like to wear blood (if any burglars are reading this).* I'm really glad they get to see them so often (several times per year for up to a week at a time).  Their grandparents love them dearly and are good people. They should know them and love them well. So that leaves me to my own devices. Or should that be devirtues? What shall I do? Probably sleep. Which, now that I mention it, I need to go do.... ===== * If any burglars really are reading this, and want to go to all the trouble of doxxing me, you're in for disappointment: I'm no Seneca. I'm more your standard 'don't own expensive stuff' type philosopher.

Today's Meditation(s): How to Read Montaigne , Terence Cave, Introduction In early human cultures, group identity — the hamlet or village, band or tribe — was paramount: as weak and vulnerable as humans are, together we can be a formidable force, facing dangers which might otherwise doom the group. Be it a pack of predators or a natural disaster, people working together can go farther and overcome so much more. Individually, as a child we're fully self-involved. We don't know any better. As we grow, we learn to be cognizant of others, to realize that they have inner lives as rich and complex, and important, as our own. We learn to share, to help, to care, to empathize, sympathize, love, and respect. Our normal pattern is to surpass our innate solipsism and become social animals.  As humanity has progressed, our knowledge and technology have come to defend against many of Nature's vicissitudes and even direct them toward our own ends. People are now more pot...

Today's Meditation(s): Montaigne, Essays , 1:14 Montaigne has quite a way with words, eh? Vivid. Very Stoic. Use my judgment properly, and I 'control' my fatenwith impunity. Come into my club .