So high above me, She's so cool. She's my friend, my Lover, love. My wife.  Thoughts: Falling away from philosophy. That's today's Stoic thought. Absent-mindedly, or even purposely, letting my studies in philosophy and wisdom slide. Putting them off a day or two or five.  I almost didn't read that passage tonight, perhaps postponing it until tomorrow. But I didn't. I read. I'm thinking. All is good.  I'm glad I kept on top of it. It makes me feel better and helps me plan my next steps.  Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Music: Echorus by Philip Glass

Help!  I do not know The answer to the question. Ask!  Ye shall receive. Thoughts: A quick way to remain ignorant is to attempt to appear knowledgeable. This is something I consciously encourage in my children.  When they ask a question to learn something — How do I pronounce a word? How does that rule in the game work?  What happened in [historical event X]? — I praise them for asking the question.  Reminding them that asking questions is the best way to prevent mistakes and misunderstanding; that by always asking when they don't know something, they will end up far ahead of those who "don't want to seem dumb." I try to follow this advice, though it can be hard to break through the long-ingrained fear that my peers will think me stupid or that admitting to not knowing something is somehow embarrassing. I think I do pretty well at it, but know there's definitely room for improvement. Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Music: Violin Sona...

Dried, ground up words Sprinkled o'er top, spicing My thoughts with wisdom. Thoughts: Am I confused? Do the thing in front of me.  No gumption, ready to quit? Do the thing in front of me. Angry, down, or manic? Do the thing in front of me. No matter what, I can always do one thing. Forget the complexity and the urgency of the whole galaxy of cares weighing down upon me and  Do the One Thing.  Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Music: Trio from Act 3, Der Rosenkavalier by Richard Strauss

ABCs begun,  Elementary lessons Guide me from before.  Thoughts: Today's Stoic thought is about learning wisdom from good sources and using them as a guide to life.  Studying the examples of people from history who have both been judged as wise, but whom I myself find wise (Just because a person is held up by common approbation as an example does not mean that they are a good example for me.) Stoics fit well with my temperament. I find them easy (-er) to understand and to learn from. I find Stoic techniques natural to my mind and appropriate to my natural tendencies. I find their examples enlightening, if not always convincing.  But I do not limit myself to what comes easily.  I read things with which I disagree, which challenge me, which make me consider, and reconsider, my thoughts and opinions. Forcing myself to question what I think I know and to discover better reasons and evidence for those ideas I retain beyond their questioning. I understand to well that...

Ok. So now what? Define what is up to me.  Reserve my assent. Desire what's in my control. Follow on Nature. Use wisdom, justice, courage, Temperance in all. Thoughts: Tonight, I will spend too much money. My kids and I are going to a game. (Mrs. Student is staying home with one.) Between seats, parking, food, and drinks, it'll probably total several hundred dollars, but it's a calculated splurge: it will build memories that cannot be taken from us. It will be one more bond between us.  This is part and parcel of creating meaning. This is priceless. This is worthy. Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Meditation III: Today's Music: Symphony no. 41 in C major, K. 155 ('Jupiter'), 4: Molto Allegro by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart Daily Shakespeare: The Merchant Of Venice , Act 3 Scene 1

Breathe.  Calm.  Close my eyes. Desperately try not to Strangle the dumbass. Thoughts: Patience is a virtue. One I need in abundance today. I must remind myself, " They do not do wrong willingly. They do so out of ignorance. " (And if they'd listened to me in the first place, I'd have no need to practice patience today.) Repeat the mantra: job security job security job security job security job security job security job security job security job security job security job security job security job security job security job security . . . . Today's Meditation: Today's Music: Unsent Love Letters  by Elena Kats-Chernin Daily Shakespeare: A Midsummer Night's Dream , Act 5 Scene 1

My luve is like a . . . Kiss for me in the morning, Like she did today. Thoughts: If I let my desires run free, I find myself with an ever-widening vista of Things I Neeeeeeed  . . . especially in these days of omnipresent, targeted advertising. Jump on Amazon to buy one thing . . . and here's 12 things I've searched for recently, some of which I may still need / want.  So easy to just add it to the cart and get that hit of dopamine two days later when the Shiny New Thing arrives. And, post-retail therapy-coitus, strangely, my unease and mood and demeanor aren't magically switched to Happy now that I have the SNT . . . . It's almost as if buying stuff isn't the cure for my malaise.  Who knew? The Stoics and Buddha and Hinduism and many others agree: desire leads to pain.  Limit or eliminate my desires, and everything takes its proper place. Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Meditation II: Today's Music: My Luve Is Like a Red Red Ro...

Reading for knowledge. Reading for understanding. Read for mastery. Read for joy.  Thoughts: I reread books, especially those whose content I care about.  For example, I'm exploring a philosophy book with my two eldest children, Nasty, Brutish, and Short by Scott Hershovitz. We read each and discuss chapter twice, once for the big picture, once for fine details. Over all, since each kid is doing a different chapter each week, I end up reading most of them 6-7 times. I almost feel like I could restate his arguments properly.  My favorite book is Siddhartha. I've read / listened to it probably 15+ times. Every time I discover something new which I had not appreciated previously.   It's a special ritual for me . . . when I am overwhelmed, or depressed, or spirituality confused, I can return to Siddhartha and find my center, my balance.  Rereading worthy books is necessary if I want to truly appreciate their message. It's also a source of psychological comfor...

Avoiding tempters, Easily defended ground A better option. Thoughts: Sleep calls me.  I'm not sure why I'm so tired since I got enough rest last night.  Food, too, but I'm fasting this week so that's a no.  So many temptations to fight. I think discretion may be the better part of valour this evening. Time for a shower and bed.  If I'm asleep, I can't be fascinated by their charms.  Today's Meditation: Today's Music: Clarinet Concerto no. 1 in F minor, op. 73, 3: Rondo - Allegretto  (starting at 13:37) by Carl Maria von Weber

Habits and habitrails, Paths my day runs along.  Serial rails to guide my way. Thoughts: What bad habit did I curb today? How am I better? Were my actions just? How can I improve?  An age old formula, it gets straight to the point: am I better than I was when I woke up? If so, how? If not, why not? To date, my meditations have generally been promethian: I try to read in the morning and prepare myself for the day. I've not often done the retrospective evaluation of how I did. I should make that a higher priority.  Today's Meditation: Today's Music: Adagio from Lady Macbeth of the Mtsensk District arranged for strings by Dmitri Shostakovich

Ancient dragons wait. Secure in their great power. Bulwarks defend me! Thoughts: All the old impulses . . . gluttony, sloth, greed, anger, envy, lust, pride . . . lay in wait for me to sleep.  Let my focus slip and I invite them to rule my life out of instinct and weakness of will.  How do I prevent their ascendancy?  Habit. Concentrated consistency. Every day, I (do my best to) study, meditate, and journal. I carry my Stoic coin. I look for ways to practice kindness and generosity. I remind myself why I fight the tide. Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Music: Trauermusik by Paul Hindemith (original recording with Hindemith himself on viola) The interesting history of this piece. Worth the read. 

Hearts set to good. Phasers set to stun. Beam me up, Scotty. Buddha take the wheel. Thoughts: It's not a switch, though I've sometimes wished it were.  It's a commitment, a daily decision. It's looking for ways to practice it and finding ways to improve old practices.  It's learning and thinking and acting . It's powerful and wonderful. It's good. Today's Meditation: Today's Music: An die Musik - To Music by Franz Schubert

Happiness is found Along the path.  It's not a destination.  Thoughts: Soft humming in the other room. My child is happier today. They hum and sing to themselves when they're calm and unstressed.  It makes me smile.  Happiness, as the Buddha teaches, is the journey of life. I cannot  arrive at happiness: it's not a state of achievement, but a continual process of finding peace in how I live my life. Buddha* says this is achieved by understanding that the world, and all the things in it, are illusion. That separateness is not real. That connection to all things is reality. Stoics, on the other hand, say tranquility is found in following Nature and focusing on what is within my control. Maybe, if I continute my meditations, I will one day reach satori and all will make sense. Until then, Stoicism is my readily available course.  We shall see what the future holds.  Today's Meditation: Today's Music: Electric Counterpoint, 1: Fast by Steve R...

Building new thoughts, bright Suns of inspiration drift Through fertile mind fields.  Thoughts: Looking at Tolstoy's quotes below, it makes my heart glad that I am teaching my kids philosophy. Showing them how to think through issues and to examine their lives as teenagers will give them a head start on knowing who they are and why they are the way they are.  As I said a few days ago , aside from my love and support, I cannot think of anything more precious I could give to them.  Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Music: ' Dirait-on' - 'Should We Say' from Les chansons des roses by Morten Lauridsen

Ultimate tonight. A good throw. A catch! My son! Learning and growing. Thoughts: We play Ultimate twice a week. It's fun to watch my son grow and get better.  Throwing. Catching. Running. Learning tactics and strategies. Trying harder.  I encourage him, critique his play, practice with him.  He's so much better now than he was just a couple of months ago.  But I can't play for him. Sometimes he fails. Missed catches, bad throws. Being out of position. Failing to keep up with his coverage. These little moments hurt to watch, but I don't try to stop them. Failing is as much a part of progressing as success. If I "protected" him from these moments, now when the stakes are low and the consequences small, I'd be robbing him of valuable lessons. He has to know what it's like to miss, to come up short and keep going. To fail and yet continue despite disappointment.  Learning this now will gird him for the challenges to come.  It's a good gift to give him....

NFL weekend. Athletics at the edge of Greatness! Then they failed. Thoughts: How disappointing it must've been. To be the player that close to making the play. The almost blocked punt.  The almost caught Hail Mary. Heartbreaking to see a season end in a fraction of an inch. And now what? How do these players go on? How do they get up today and face the world? One way: it was never up to them.  Once the archer lets the arrow fly, the result is out of her hands. She has done her best. She has aimed and breathed and stilled and released.... And then Fate or Chance or the Swerve took over. She'd done all she could do. Some things are not up to us. Some things just are and we're better off assenting to reality sooner than continuing to push the rock up the hill a few more times and hoping for a different result.  Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Music: Étude in C sharp minor, op. 2 no. 1 by Alexander Scriabin

Fifty pieces of my soul,  jockeying for position. Time to sort them out.  Thoughts: Looking for new daily reads, I found one called 365 Days of Buddhist Wisdom by Cristo Lopez.  Seems like a good one, so far. I look forward to seeing what I can learn from it.  What in my life is worth doing?  Raising my kids.  My relationship with my wife.  My philosophy.  My friends.  What else?  Getting healthier.  But it seems this isn't right.  I've had countless opportunities to do better — exercising more, eating less, eating better — but, short bouts of optimistic and energetic action notwithstanding, I've not yet found the trigger which puts these efforts into the "worth doing" category.  If I had, I'd already be committed.  It may take a crisis to tip this one past the threshold.  Will it be too late?  What else?  Work?  For me, work is a means to an end. I don't identify with my job. I'm a fa...

Humans' errors, in Isms of all the flavors,  Suck. Thoughts: Philosophy with my eldest this evening. The discussion at hand: Ta Nahisi Coate's essay The Case for Reparations (The Atlantic, June 2014). As a white guy, it's tough to feel as though I have any moral authority on the subject. So, I do my best to guide the discussion to examine difficult topics with care and openness to new ideas, examine claims, examine logic and support v rhetoric, examine both principles and pragmatics. My kid has a strong interest in the ideas and we had an engaging, mutually educational, and productive exchange.   We left off the final few sections of the text because we'd been talking a long time and didn't want to give these thoughts' exploration short-shrift.  We'll discuss them next time.  —————— This is one of the most important things I do with my older children: weekly discussions of specifically philosophical texts.  I'm deliberately exposing them to the tools th...

Maybe I'll float high, Me, in the infinite sky. Finding meaning there.  Thoughts: I watched a documentary recently with my wife called a trip to infinity (sic).  A really interesting show.  One of the physicists interviewed was talking about whether or not the idea of infinity (specifically infinite time and infinite space) makes him feel insignificant.  His answer? "Nothing is permanent in that sense. And to my mind, that's freeing. It frees us from this focus on The Permanent as where value ultimately resides to a focus on the brief moment that we have in which we can understand things and create beauty and experience wonder, regardless of how fleeting that experience may be." I like that. It's a great expression of how I feel about my time here. Brief, but all the more precious for that brevity.  Today's Meditation: Today's Music: Three Romances, op. 22, 1: Andante molto  (to 2:55) by Clara Schumann 

Harken my dear and You shall hear the cat and mouse Play within my head.  Daily Stoic: Mindfulness is a wonderful thing.  I carry a Stoic coin with me every day. It reminds me of my goals: to live in accordance with Nature while pursuing the highest good, the summum bonum, a virtuous life.  It reminds me to live with wisdom, justice, courage, and temperance.  It reminds me of the tools I have to accomplish this — the inner citadel, premeditatio malorum, amor fati, and taking a broader / longer view.  Not every time, but often, I feel the coin in my pocket and it helps center me, focusing me on my philosophy and helping me stay grounded.  Not bad. Not bad at all.  Today's Meditation: Today's Music: Octet in E flat major, op. 20, 1: Allegro moderato ma con fuoco by Felix Mendelssohn

No poem today. Thoughts: Still in a funk about my kid.  Took me 15 minutes to even attempt to react appropriately when my other child was trying to play with me. Lots to work through. On the one hand, I'm able to compartmentalize this so as not to affect my work. On the other hand, I'm not able to minimize it when dealing with my family. Something's definitely wrong with that setup.... Still looking. Still trying.  Always trying. Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Music: 'Ubi caritas et amor' from Four Gregorian Motets by Maurice Duruflé ====================== Published 230112 because I went to bed really early last night.

Loud voices reverb No! You are better than that. Kiddo, let me help. Thoughts: Maintaining my calm is difficult right now as I worry about my kid.  Their mental health is fragile and nothing seems to help. That's an external — I can't change their thoughts or make them tougher or make them be happy.  I know it's not up to me, but that doesn't make it easier. Watching them have trouble, and knowing that I have been utterly unable to find a way to help them . . . it drives me nuts. Deep breaths.  Try to lower my heart rate.  Slow my thoughts.  Focus on what I can do.  Look for advice, from friends, family, even online.  Talk to my wife; maybe she can be more effective than I have been.  Keep looking for answers.  Keep trying new approaches.  Never give up.  Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Music: Toccata arpeggiata by Giovanni Girolamo Kapsberger

Little harmonies Of color, taste, pride, and peace.  Assents of goodness.  Daily Stoic: And things I cannot control but can influence. Though, in the final tally, they are still things I cannot control and must accept with grace, internal and ex, should they not go as I hoped.  Today's Meditation: Today's Meditation II: Today's Meditation III: Today's Music: Requiem Mass, 3: Offertorio: Domaine Jesu Christie by Giuseppe Verdi