210524 What I learned in my studies this morning

Practicing Stoic

Mindfulness today is hard.

Change thoughts by my will.

From The Daily Stoic: 

Luck can happen.  The problem is I can't control it.

Preparing myself to succeed, however, is something I can control.

From A Guide to the Good Life by William B. Irvine 

Chapter 10: Social Relations — Dealing With Other People

Annoying people are a fact of life.  How best to deal with this unfortunate reality?

The Stoics advise a few approaches.

Remember that others may find us annoying.  If we keep this in mind, it will not only help keep us from doing annoying things, it will also help us offer empathy and understanding to the one we are dealing with now.

Showing our annoyance will likely make things worse.  If we demonstrate how much this person is bugging us, do we really think it will improve their attitude or make them change their behavior?  Fat chance.  Also, by hiding our reaction, we are more likely to get past the annoying part and be able to move on to something more enjoyable (or at least less aggravating).  Finally, by masking our true reaction, the interaction will probably be over much more quickly than it would be if we showed them what we really think.

Use them as a lesson for yourself.  Examine closely what it is about their behavior that bugs you. Then look inside and see if you carry any of those traits.  If you do, be mindful the next time you begin to do the same things and change your behavior accordingly.

Take the long view.  This is almost assuredly a temporary situation.  Five minutes in our day.  The ramifications of their behavior are most likely to be short, if there are any at all.  So what does last about such interactions?  Our thoughts.  Our emotions and reactions.  If we can control those, then this entire happening will be forgotten shortly and it will be as if nothing occurred in the first place.  Which is a path to a happier life?  Dwelling on the idiocy of someone you'll probably never see again or blowing it off and getting on with your day and your life?