I've nothing to say. Did ya hear the one about The philosopher? Today's Meditation(s): Good night, moon.

Today's Meditation(s): This is me. To my potential detriment, I tend to look for, and see, the good in others. I know there are bad actors out there — dealt with some, known others second-hand — but my basic impulse is to like and trust and try to love. I prefer it this way. Only in the present is anything under my control, and, in any given instant, that's a very small subset of everything about.... Thankfully, it's the most important few things which could be. Edit 230928:

Another change today. Simplify simplify simp. Wait. What? That's not what . . . Today's Meditation(s): I've come to really love my daily studies. Especially on those days when I get to do a deeper dive into one of my meatier manuals. My wife and I will be going on a Big Vacation in 2024 and I keep this and another quote from Seneca forefront in my mind when I think about it. A change of character, not a change of air, is what you need . . . .  And if you want to know why all this running away cannot help you, the answer is simply this: you are running away in your own company. You have to lay aside the load on your spirit. Until you do that, nowhere will satisfy you . (Moral Letters, 28.1-2) I need to find peace within myself if I want to find it anywhere on our journey. That and bring a good book. I mentioned something along these lines a while back. Wondering why it's always just assumed that people understand, through direct experience, one

Such a mammoth word: Responsibility. So . . . Full. Kindly regard. Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: Do for myself what I can do for myself. Delegate intelligently and responsibly. Be self-reliant. Use division of labor. No contradiction involved. All can be true. Just because I CAN split logs for firewood doesn't mean I should. It's worth more to me to use that time doing something else while the fella with the automatic splitter does the work in exchange for some part of my life as represented by the money I am willing to give up for it. I behave according to my preferences. Then, on other occasions, my preference will be exactly for the meditative physical drone of the ax. Or for the exercise of it to benefit my body. Or both. I can realize my limitations, physical and mental, and work within them to do what I need to do. Consulting experts when necessary. Partitioning work when needed. Picking up the tools myself as I can.

Twenty-one thirteen Scores distractifying us. No shirt, shylock. Nice. Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: And a rallying we go. It took a week — it got bad — it was touch and go — but now we're approaching STP. I think I need to take a week off work. I often wish that, but I'm sorta thinking I might really need a day or two to relax. A bit of self care. I've got enough PTO saved up, I could do it. It's just whether I want to pull the trigger or not. And I won't. I know I won't. But I asked. So there's that. Done deal.

They are all  — Infinite knowledge. Those who enjoy suffering. Mind precedes mental. — mind-wrought. Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: If I choose not to be harmed, I am not harmed. Harm is mind-wrought. If I choose to indulge in passions, self-chosen destruction, a life of the child-people, I delay my progress. If I fail to put kindness first, I lose my focus, I stop seeing people first. I go through life without the love I need to feel for my people.

He saw my beginning. I'll see his end — seeing age win its patient war — just as he and his father before. Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: What's the term for accidental prescience? I tripped across the quote up there as I looked randomly though one of my books today. It's one of those coincidences in life that we wish were meaningful in something other than a subjective way. But I'm allowed to give it that subjective meaning if I want to. So I do.

Limping through life, tired. Kinda doesn't want to stay. Will he stay or go? Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: I may be tested on this soon. More paternal health issues. I'm practicing my Premeditatio malorum , preparing for the inevitable, though still unscheduled, event. Thinking through how it will play out. Wondering what my best actions would be. Planning how to both help my mom and siblings and to process my own feelings. I'm torn. I love my dad. I want him to be here for my mom, my children. I also know he's miserable. Always in pain. Becoming more confused. Worried he's going to end up like others we know who lost their mind much more comprehensively. I just want him to be at peace.

Playful conversing  Trust and admit, love and hope Making a breakthrough. Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: Gotta say, that last one's got me going. It's gonna take a while for that one tomorrow sink in. If ever. The first two, however, make easy sense to me. It's harder to live in harmony, to add to the good in the world.  Rudeness is easy. Politeness is needed. Crudeness is easy. Manners are needed. Selfishness is easy. Charity is needed. Cruely is easy. Kindness is needed. I need to be more mindful of where I can do better. And then do it.

Take the time, master The inner realms, strengthen and Sign treaties, have peace. Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: A mixed bag of sayings from Tolstoy today. Spiritual improvement, service, and truth. Not a bad combination. Once again, I'm with my dad in the hospital. More tests. More waiting  More theories. More confusion. No answers. It's a trying time as we balance his desire ( I want to go home! ) v what is needed (an answer to what is troubling him;  any answer). He's so tired of the hospital and I don't blame him. It sucks being trapped in a bed, worried about mortality, and bored out of your mind.

What is mine is yours When discovered fell in love Seriously good. Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: I've said it before: if I teach my children anything, I want them to be kind. With kindness as the base assumption, everything becomes better. People come before things. Forgiveness is always nearby. Love is the default. They bring their brains with them, don't worry, but when there's more than one way to do it, they will tend to the kinder path.

Day thirty-seven: They still don't know that I'm a . . . They've accepted me. Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: That's a favorite passage from Marcus up there. Let them see to it. It has the same feel to it as does Bless your heart from a Southern matriarch. (Which I once heard described as "Did you just tell me to 'fuck off' in Texan?") There's nothing for someone who insists on holding a grudge against, or mistaken opinion of, me. All I can do is let them know. If they change, they change. If they do not, they do not. And I must be ready to sincerely forgive them when and if they turn from their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. In the meantime, my life remains to live. Let me see to it.

Caring for a loved one Paying back fractions of what's owed. Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: Received, unexamined, unquestioned, untested faith is the weakest kind of faith. Inherited faith fears that it will fail the test when it comes. That is why it is so often aggressively defensive, timid and afraid behind it's raucus rejections. Faith that has been challenged and survived is strong, silent, accepting, and confident.

Three streams, confluence Of substance in basic things. Clear, refreshing. Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: There's a parallel between Lao Tzu's wisdom, de Lamenais' observation, and Stoic thought here. Though Lao Tzu is, as usual, the most poetic in his phrasing, the central idea of placing value on inner worth rather than outward seeming is the same. I love finding the same idea in disparate sources: it really emphasizes how fundamental some ideas are.

There it is again: The nagging difficulty Of life. Keep going. Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: Some timely advice this morning, especially from Marcus. It's been a very long several days recently. I've been thinking 'why me' too much during this stretch.   Marcus's Meditation is apt: why am I taking the simple, unhelpful, impossible way of wishing these trials away rather than asking to strengthen my resolve to endure them? Asking for reality to not be what it is . . . what an ignorant waste. Just add all this to my tab and let me move forward.

No poem today. Check back again tomorrow. Thanks. See you later. Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: Today is a day to think about death.  I do this regularly, but today, it's not my death I'm thinking about. My father is ill. (He may rally and be good for months to come — it's happened before — but he's slowly been getting worse over the past several weeks.) So I think about things in stages. Practical considerations first. Funeral arrangements, communication with family, preparing a eulogy, etc. Luckily, save for the final item, my parents are unusually organized and prepared for such things. Then, emotional effects.  Comforting and helping my mom if she loses the love of her life for the past almost 60 years. Working through my own feelings. Helping my kids cope with the loss of their grandfather. Etc. For my part, I've thought about not only my death, but the death of my loved ones, including my dad. Mostly, I'

Putting on the Ritz. Standing on a moving train. Portrait of the art. Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: I read lots of, well, while not usually categorized as holy they're at least generally seen as wise. Lots of philosophy, bits of religious books and commentaries, Tolstoy's collection of epigrams, etc. If all I do is read them however, never stopping to really consider them and examine how they might help me live a better life, then I might as well put the tomes away and focus on something more appropriate like Mad Libs or anonymous erotic 'novels'. Maybe throw myself into some fandom or other and let that become my personality. The whole point of philosophy is to create the best life I can.

How many people While away the day in hot Mess thinking mishaps? Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: I've gotten big. Too big. I know better, I just don't follow through. I eat the wrong stuff. I eat too much. I eat when I'm not hungry. I eat if there's food laying about. I eat. Today, I'm not. Nor tomorrow. Nor the rest of the week, if things go as planned.  (Yes, I know the effects of extended fasting. That's why I do it.) I spent the better part of a year fasting during the week and eating on weekends. I lost 35-40 pounds and felt great. Then I had a rough patch and let life get to me. I abandoned what had brought me all that way and have more or less eaten anything and everything I want for the past 8 months. I let myself believe that the pie in the fridge, the bread on the counter, the next snack, that they would give me the satisfaction I crave.  Surprise, they never do. Hells, half the time I'm stupid enough to eat something bu

Valoriousness Virtuousityism. Betterrmenntalness.  Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: Save for exceptions such as sociopaths who don't have one and brain damage which can alter or eliminate it, conscience is supposed to be universal. So how can it be in all of us?  Surely it's the rule, right? The "of course (normal) people have a conscience' chorus is certainly a loud one. But how can something which can be reduced or erased be universal? If it can be sliced away or impaired by genetics or physical injury, or blurred by drugs and alcohol, or corrupted by chronic, malicious maltreatment . . . how can we reasonably assign such a property to all people? It seems a fantastically flimsy device on which to hang moral principles. Yet smarter minds and wiser souls than mine have turned to it again and again. I think this worth pursuing and will come back to it tomorrow.

Inevitable. Optional opt in sundial. Ineluctable. Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: Suffering comes from desire: be satisfied with less and be happier. Suffering is also a judgment: do away with the feeling of being harmed and you do away with the harm. I have two proven ways to avoid suffering. I know these ways well. I've used them many times. Why do I still forget they exist when I'm in pain? I must be more mindful of these truths when I detect precursors to feeling bad.

Work to build something. Work to fulfill your wild dream. Work to help others. Today's Meditation(s): Thoughts: Kids are great. They make me smile so much, so often. We've got four kids. One fewer than we should. Part of dealing with that is knowing that I need to love those still with me now . And I need to demonstrate that love now .  And I need to appreciate them  now .