210731 What I learned in my studies this morning

Hot morning, sun's out? 

Time to test my endurance!..... 

This was a mistake.......

Daily Stoic:

"Who wants to be the person who can never let go? Is there so little meaning in your life...?" (from The Daily Stoic commentary for today) 

A friend of mine once complained about their job. They hated it. They hated what they did. They hated their coworkers. They hated the environment. 

Part of their remonstration was that it made them sad that this was their life. This [crappy job] was "who they were."

"[Student], how in the hell did I end up as [insert their job title here]?" 

They identified themselves, internally, as their position. 

My response? "It's a job, not a jail." *

I get it. It's easy to get wrapped up in work. It takes so much of my time and brain power and attention.  It's front and center most days of my life right now. 

[A bit of background: I've been in the same job for more than a decade now.  I'm really good at what I do. I (usually) enjoy, or, at least, don't mind too much, what I do and my coworkers with are (mostly) good people.]

When it takes up such a large percentage of my day for so many years, I can see why it would be . . . assumptive? effortless? uncomplicated? given? inevitable? the path of least resistance? . . . facile . . . to base my identity on it. 

One reason this happens to so many people is that we focus on it as a society. I.e. when we meet someone what's always one of the first questions asked? "So, what do you do (for a living)?"  We do this to the point that it's natural to view our job as a large part of who we are. 

But it doesn't have to be that way. 

If you "work" in a field that is also your passion, it may be ok.  For the rest of us, however, basing our identity, our inner monologue's self-description, on a thing we only tolerate and would leave in a second were that a viable option . . . . Yeah. Maybe not the best strategy. 

This is something I was already pretty good about before (re)learning about Stoicism. I think of myself as a father, husband, son, brother, and friend first. What I do to make money is in there, it's just buried by all the other things I (consciously, deliberately) put before it in how I think of myself. 

Since my renaissance, I've gotten better at this. Now, aside from the relationships I listed above, I think of myself in terms of my motivation and behavior. 

— I am someone who does what is right. 

— I am someone who is kind and caring and compassionate to others.  

— I am someone who deals with the world as it is, rather than how I wish it were. 

— I am someone who owns my world and bears the responsibility of what I choose to do. 

I still have much work to do, but when I question who I am, I want my character to be first and foremost in my thoughts. And these internal mental images are, and should be, aspirational in nature. 

Today's Meditation:

Daily Shakespeare:

* The quote isn't mine.  I heard it somewhere.