230716 What I learned in my studies this morning 3

Shut up. Just shut up.

And I mean that in the nice

Est way possible.

Thoughts:

Never miss a good chance to shut up (to 1:15). (variously attributed)

I try to be laconic. Prattling on and on is something I try to avoid.

On a practical level, life is so much easier that way. I don't have to come up with a ton of things to say.  And I don't have to remember all those (unsaid) things later on. Win-win.

That doesn't mean I don't do my part in conversation. In fact, my son and I are studying How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes.*

I've read it before, years ago, as part of trying to learn to be better at my job. I use her techniques even now when I find myself talking with people I don't know.

I ask open-ended questions. I physically turn my body to the person to outwardly (if subconsciously) demonstrate to them that I am giving them my full attention. I use eye contact, mood matching, and verbal mirroring. Etc. Etc. Etc. (It's an excellent book. I recommend it. Especially for introverts.)

Even so, I prefer to do just enough to play my full role in the conversation and then engage the other person to tell me more.

And, on extremely rare occasions, I might just meet a unicorn: someone with whom silence can be comfortable despite having only just met.

Today's Meditation:

Today's Meditation II:

Today's Meditation III :

Today's Meditation IV

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* When I came to him and asked if he had a topic of preference for our next set of lessons, he said he wanted to learn how to meet people and be able to talk to them with confidence. I thought it a wonderfully perceptive thing for an 11 year old to request so I ordered him his own copy of How to Talk... the next day. It's been a blast watching him learn these lessons and begin to put them into practice. Hmm.... Is it possible to train an extrovert?