231128 What I learned in my studies this morning 4

Do with a glad heart

What Fate brings to my table.
The right thing. Always.

Today's Meditation(s):

Happiness is simple, not easy.

I know what I need to do, but I don't do it.  Hell, even when I am actively trying to be good, I let myself do stupid things as if I were an automaton and not in control my own actions.

An easy example: I look at the snack in the cabinet or pantry.  I'll feel the passion arise to pick it up and eat it.  I reach of and take hold of it.  Then I tell myself, 'No. Don't eat that.  It's unnecessary.  It's be bad for your health.  It will make you fatter.  It won't taste as good as it I think it will.  Whatever taste is does have, I'll be distracted while eating and won't even notice it.  Half of it will be gone, unconsciously consumed before I even notice. Even if it magically did live up to the glory my imagination promises, taste is fleeting. It's here and gone, never to return.  There is no permanent satisfaction in doing this.'

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And yet the snack is in my hand as I walk out of the kitchen.

Last night, I picked up two snacks and, a few steps into heading back to sit down and watch TV, I convinced myself to put them down and walk away.

Later, I was back in the kitchen. I picked up one of the snacks, took it back to watch TV to eat.  I somehow scolded convinced myself into putting it down on a table. I never did eat it, but I came so close, again, to ignoring my principles and letting my passions drive the bus.

Perhaps my rational nature isn't so damned rational.