231129 What I learned in my studies this morning 4

I detest the 'news'.
Manipulation, dismay,
False outrage and lies.

Today's Meditation(s):

What do my enemies say about me? I don't know. I don't know them.

I've had people I considered good friends ghost me, but they never told me what triggered the split. (One disappeared from my life and never spoke to me again. The other, when we reconnected for a month or so, didn't say what prompted the split.)

I'm sure people criticize me. I talk too much (or not enough). I think I'm smart. I didn't do my task (or did it wrong) and caused them trouble. I'm prideful. I'm annoying. I get angry. I say things I shouldn't. I eat too much. I'm a hypocrite. I only pretend to be nice. My manners are wrong or missing. I think I'm better than others. I'm racist, sexist, elitist, mean, and untrustworthy. My opinions are old and wrong. My effort is insufficient. My commitment is lacking.

(Shee-it. I shoulda just thought about what I would guess old girlfriends would say about me.)

I know I fail in this. But at least I'm trying to understand and apply this.

I know unfortunately many people for whom kindness and compassion are only options if the other person loves them first. And even then, their 'love' is often transactional. Be nice first and then they'll be nice.  The idea of loving everyone is utterly incomprehensible to them.