240322 What I learned in my studies this morning 4

Today's Meditation(s):

Enchiridion, 33.2 (Waterfield)

One of my favorite quotes: Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Besides, by remaining silent, I learn more, especially when I'm around people who are not like me.

Often, this is beneficial: I can find different ways to view the world, discover things I never knew, meet people I wouldn't otherwise meet, etc.

But, in context of the Enchiridion, I suspect that Epictetus was thinking more about people who "are of a different kind than you" as people who "are caught up in the world and indifferents and do not think about philosophy."  Even these, however, can still teach me by negative example if I pay attention.

I do have an issue, however, with people's general disdain for small talk.  Speaking about safe topics such as the weather or the local sports team offers a safe harbor in unfamiliar territory.  Small talk exists to help us bridge the gap between stranger and acquaintance, perhaps even from there to friend.  It is the foot in the door which allows us to gently get to know the new person while exploring areas of common interest.

If I only ever speak of philosophy, I am quickly going to be very lonely.  Now, I can accept this, if that is my goal, but I would prefer to engage in society with others as best I can. That includes appropriate small talk when called for.

I still hold to the admonition to speak only when necessary and briefly, but it's because I would rather prompt the other person to talk about themselves and listen to their answers than speak about myself.

And I appreciate the directive not speak poorly of others.

Kindness is my indispensable, foundational principle. It is from this starting point that I go forth to explore my world and act upon it. 'Don't say anything if I can't say anything nice' still applies.