Re-reading, re-read. Re-meditating on the Important lessons. Today's Meditation(s): This is why I reread my books. Every day, I read three different translations of (and selections from) Tolstoy's A Calendar of Wisdom . Usually, I grab a few dicta and post them here with my thoughts. These three quotes, unselected in previous years, mesh so well with my current understanding that I marvel at not having used them already. In the time since a year ago today, and a year before that, I've grown and changed. Now, I have the tools to appreciate what they are saying. Now I get it.

I love the morning When it comes not too early.  Just in time for Thoughts. Today's Meditation(s): '...our powers began and end with our reasoned choice....'* This is the whole of the law. All else is commentary. (With apologies to Rabbi Hillel.)   Stop sleepwalking through life.  Doing things without thought or attention. Going through motions to move on to the next thing. No purpose. No notice. No goal. Just habit. Place intention in all I do. ===== *  Taken from Ryan Holiday's comments on this passage.

Let's go down, on down To the chair by the table. Sit. Rest a bittle. Today's Meditation(s): If I don't approach people as 'children of God,' I will not see them as ends in themselves but as means by which I can achieve my own goals. Keep this in mind at all times: they are as important as I am. They are as complex and real as I am. They love their life and have their own own aims and goals . And must treat them as fully human, fully worthy. Always. It's not within *our power to change external things. The world is what it is and I must be realistic about what is possible. What is sure is that my judgments are mine to make. What is most likely is that the world is not going to change the number of hours at night for me to get more sleep, so I'd better get my butt to bed earlier or stfu and deal with the consequences of my decision. And the like. Stop wishing to change the laws of physics in my favor and get on with living the life I c...

Another moonrise To sunset celebration Of lovely being. Today's Meditation(s): Now is when I can act. Now is when I can love. So love.  Now.  Get to it. Go!

This is a joke, right? Someone is controlling them. The just want to play. Today's Meditation(s): If I live a life that follows Nature, if I am sensitive to the Way and , would my life look the same before satori and after?

Along a long course Burbling, it careens along,  Until distraction. Today's Meditation(s): Meditations 5.3 If Wisdom and Nature lead me, I should be confident in my aims. If . . . .

I can accept Fate or fight, It doesn't care. Life just continues. Today's Meditation(s): It's not that no one can help.  It's not that no one wants  to help. It's that the things I  need help with are not accessible by others. I am the only one, if anyone, who can guide my actions to follow Nature. I am the only one, if anyone, who can remain indifferent to indifferents. I am the only one, if anyone, who can understand that control is within. I am the only one, if anyone, who can change my attitude. I am the only one, if anyone, who can stop adding judgments to perceptions. I am the only one, if anyone, who can choose the right goals, methods, and motivations for my life. I am the only one, if anyone, who can save myself.

Staying in my lane. Remembering my right place. Ego under wraps. Today's Meditation(s): 'Nothing in life is permanent. Everything in life is transitory. Accept that change is coming and live fully in this moment.' Very Stoic here. Tolstoy echos Epictetus and many others who advised us to look to our own faults rather than find fault in others. Biblical, too. Motes, eyes, beams. It's a way that can help me relate better to others. If I get full of myself and think I'm better than someone else, that they're not as good as me, but I bring to mind all the times I've been rude or ignorant or petty or aggressive or any of 'the 10,000 things' . . . . I am part and parcel of everyone else. Or similarities outweigh our differences.

Climbing along slow hills Of paths and courses o'erwatched, I stumble then rise. Today's Meditation(s): Thank goodness I had a second translation for this first quote. I like being lighthearted.  Focus can be difficult for me. I have a tendency to become distracted by both my environment and by my internal chaos. Since focus comes more easily in isolation, and since considering my path is as important an action as I will take in my life, I must practice more diligently calming my mind and narrowing my aim so that I can get it right.

Calm. Still. Clear. Light. Mute. Plan. Wait. Poised. Paused. Cool. Hushed. Wait. Then I screw it up. Today's Meditation(s): I teach my children: which will be more likely to bring about the result you seek? React ing in a sudden passion or act ing with deliberate reason? They have known the right answer since they were just kids. And today I failed: I got into an argument and didn't keep my calm. I should have disengaged sooner. I should have left the area. I should have remembered my principles. I didn't.  Instead, I ended up back in the disagreement and failed to control myself. I reacted poorly, escalated things, and regretted it even as I said the wrong things. I need to be better.

Booked. Done. Set in stone. As my pursuit of virtue Should forever be. Today's Meditation(s): I have to remind myself of this all the time:  my behavior should be utterly independent from anyone else's. Are they rude? I must be kind. Are they in a hurry? I must be understanding. Are they taking their time? I must be patient. I can lose my temper , sure, but what purpose does that serve?  Certainly not mine, not Nature's. My duty is to be a good person regardless of what others do. If I base my actions on theirs, if I revert to tit-for-tat or act poorly just because they have, I harm myself, not them. How dumb is that? Time to be better.

I'm forcing myself. Three days of lackadaisy. Still a day behind. Today's Meditation(s): If I pursue people's admiration, I am chasing a dragon I cannot guide.  What happens is not up to me and I have no control over it. If I choose to act wisely and virtuously, I am properly focused on my sphere of influence and can succeed, no matter what happens in the outside world. And, if I do this well enough, others' praise will follow naturally. But here's the point: why on Earth should I care?

Nothing comes to mind. Low-hung fruit still out of reach. Maybe I've run dry? Today's Meditation(s): Marcus said this too: Get busy with life’s purpose, toss aside empty hopes, get active in your own rescue — if you care for yourself at all — and do it while you can. (Meditations 3:14) I guess I don't wait for others to save me much, but I often find myself waiting for my internal gumption reserve to fill up and get me moving.

Out treating with kids, No tricking, just having fun. One with the candy. Today's Meditation(s): Traditions often address social issues. If you are going to do away with one, you'd best have discovered what social ill it ameliorated. Beyond that, you need to either deduce that the problem it addressed is no longer an issue or make sure your New Order doesn't see this old issue recur in an unexpected time and place. Slavish devotion to tradition is stagnating. Unreasoned rejection of the same is all too often regression. Think before you act.

The cat eats a bug. A bug * ****** **** ** ****. Because I'm a guy. Today's Meditation(s): Thinking first of others is a darn hard habit to form. After decades of thinking of others first incidentally or half-assedly, I'm finally being intentional about it. I've finally realized that I must do it on purpose because I want to help. And, when I've been successful, it has indeed help free me from the slavery of my dissolutions. It feels good.

Out of mouths of babes Damnation unexpected. Time to be better. Today's Meditation(s): "I don't know where I am, but the light is green." ~ overheard today Today I lost my temper. We ordered some food online to be ready ASAP (about 6-7 minutes according to the app). When we're got there 15 minutes later, our order wasn't ready. We waited another 20 minutes before they gave it to us. When they handed it over, I asked for some extra gravy. She said no, we've already got sauce. When I waived my hand holding the money which she apparently had not seen, letting her know I wanted to buy a small order, she told me to get get in the drive-thru line. I. E. "Get in that line of cars over there, wait 15 minutes to get to the window and then pay me the $ for a small order of gravy." I told her, in unkind terms at an unkind volume, what I thought of her proposed solution.  (I don't know if she heard me as she'd already closed the window...

It is exactly These moments That define My life. Today's Meditation(s): I think my quotes for today are trying to tell me something. Preparing me for hardship to come.

Last night. Whew! Wowza. Life-changing. New day forward. Kokopelli fears! Today's Meditation(s): Today I am better than I was last night. A better father. A better husband. A better man. A better person. I'm fat. I'm unhealthy. I avoid unpleasant things. I can do better. Last night I saw myself, fat, Santa-bearded, out of shape. Pretending to be a good example. Today is better. Today I am making better choices.

Enchiridion . . . Handbook to a better life. Tough, but so worth it. Today's Meditation(s): Enchiridion 3, trans. by Robin Hard I've been thinking about this one a lot lately. My dad, mostly, but also my son. When I first read this passage, it struck me, as it does many people, as hard, ruthless, uncaring, and just awful.  Who the HELL wants to think about the fact that they are only 'renting' their loved ones for a short amount of time?  Why on Earth  would you dwell on this sort of thing? That's disgusting! And yet, time has proved me wrong yet again. Now I know why he said this. Now I have more experience and can accept this wisdom.  Now I focus on it, making it a central core of how I want to approach each day. If I know I have to give them back, and perhaps quite soon, then today I will love them extra.  I will forgive their mood.  I'll indulge them a bit more.  There are extra stories read and hugs always accepted.  There are fewer movies a...

Conflicted feelings,  Over things I can't control, Feels so frustrating. Today's Meditation(s): What about when people use their freedom in ways I don't like?  If they aren't encroaching on others, I can oppose them with reason, but not force. So yeah, that's happening. A told B something I disagree with in every meaningful way. In my opinion, B is spiritually harmed by this. Perhaps psychologically, as well. I absolutely understand A's reason. I cannot promise that if I were in their position, I wouldn't do the same (though I certainly hope I would refrain if the time comes). What to do what to do what to do . . . .

Reification. Responsibility. Right. How's that again, bub? Today's Meditation(s): If he has only my troubles, he ought to be happy indeed.* My troubles are bearable. I bear them. I am sometimes down, but not usually a lot or for long. I owe at least some of that to modern pharmacology. I owe some of that to philosophy. These daily sessions help me think through many things, picking up thoughts along the way. Examining my reasons instead of always relying on other's opinions. Offering ways of thinking which help make those things bearable.  I owe some of that to family. I have a spouse who is kind, intelligent, and caring, who loves and supports me. My children love me. My mother and father, sister and brother, all love me. I have a strong safety net. I owe some of that to friends. People whom I trust implicitly and explicitly. People who know they can rely on me utterly. I owe some of that to luck. Right time, right place. Right person, right time. Family I was ...

"You should go," I think. Ontological reducts. You should go, I think. Today's Meditation(s): Focus on what lies within my power. Magnify those traits I can control. Those traits which serve Wisdom and others. Conscience . . . I hear it plainly, most often. Whether or not I follow it is not so plain, too often. I often wonder where's that moral sense comes from.  Is it just a product of a religious upbringing? Is it a product of my studies in philosophy and religion? Is it some innate moral instinct? All three? Something else or something more? Is it all illusion and we're determined to the last atom?

Good words, future gifts. Ripples through deep channels. See how the boat turns? Today's Meditation(s): Never miss a good chance to shut up. I've used that epigram enough my keyboard's predictive text finished the sentence for me as soon as I'd typed "Never miss...." But there's another side to this coin: kind words, good words, last forever as well. My nephew and a wonderful young woman exchanged their vows this weekend. Now that the ceremony and the celebration are done, they move on to their honeymoon. A solid, kind, good young man, his father died when he was very young. He's grown up the way he has because of his mom: she raised him and his sister by herself.  My dad, my brother, and I have all done what we could to help him become the man he is, in loco patris , but it was she who did the heavy lifting. One of my privileges this weekend is that my sister asked my brother and I to write letters to the newlyweds, offering wor...